Wednesday, May 15, 2013

On Being The Clouds

There I am.  See me?

Over the six years that have passed since my Warranty Expired, if Prednisone became the controlling, hatefully-loving, less-than-sane Mistress I Never Wanted, then Hydrocodone was my new BFF.  Through almost a dozen adventures together, my chemical buddy and I had some memorable times.  He taught me to sleep again when pain tried to stop me.  He made me chatty and nice.  He even got me to start working out again. 

But mostly what we did... is fly.

I know that the effects of narcotic painkillers can vary widely from patient to patient, so I was relieved that I wasn't one of those people who simply cannot stomach them.  I'm also glad that the experience for me wasn't so perfect as to lead me straight into addiction - not that I've ever taken them long enough for that to be a problem, but still - yay!  In fact, I remember learning early on that Hydrocodone does not numb my intense pains; it mostly just makes me stop caring and fly away.

Taking my first flight with Hydrocodone was a lot like taking off in a real airplane for the first time.  My guts all lurched downward for a moment, as if they had failed to receive the memo.  Then, the nose of the plane went up and the world fell away in an instant.  There was a strong temptation to panic.  "DON'T PANIC" bounced through my brain, and I'm glad it did, because the next urge was the one that felt like WHEEEEEE...

When I next closed my eyes, I saw Water Island (USVI) morph into a magical green horse and gallop and cavort around me for hours.  Wait - maybe it was a dragon.  I opened my eyes to find that I was not hallucinating; I was in flight, and the island was simply flying with me.  I was weightless.  I knew the pain was still there, but somehow I was free of it.  I was not merely in the clouds.  I was the clouds.

The second time was just as good.  Later, when my lung was out to get me, I was introduced to a cough syrup with my pal Hydrocodone in it, and the effect was somehow even better.  A couple of years later, a pair of root canals reunited me and The Stuff.  A sprained knee brought another prescription, and a big dose.  By then, I had my Hydrocodone Frequent Flyer card, and I really knew what I was doing.  The urge to panic, or to go all "wheeeeeee" all over the place, was replaced by calm, confident climbs into the sky.

Smooth sailing
In 2012, we picked up right where we had left off on the last go 'round.  I know we'll always be best friends, and I love becoming the clouds and flying high above the planet together, but I have to admit, there has been a little falling-out.  In 2013 my buddy, my best pal, my trusted friend... was NO help when faced with the pain of kidney stones.

We're going to have a little chat about that.

This was written in response to yet another writing prompt from my friends at  STUDIO 30 PLUS.  This one was "Frequent Flyer."



  1. Interesting quite the relationship you two are having. Be careful she can sneak up on you. I have a long term battle with pain and the killers that come with it. WE don't get hydrocodone here in Canada but they hand out Oxycontin like smarties. They have had me on my knees a few times. :)

  2. A recent operation left me happy with vicodin and morphine. A sweet cocktail that made me feel like I was flying as well. I could see the ease of addiction if I needed to sample that more often...

    Great take on the prompt! Thanks for linking up.

  3. I really liked this, it drew me in and it was fun to read, as if you were sitting here telling me all about it.

    I don't do well on pain meds at all...I either sleep a lot or get sick to my stomach. I'd be a lousy drug addict. ;)

    I'm just glad that you are getting some relief for the pain.

  4. Yeah, I like oxycodone too. You're right about the effect...doesn't really eliminate the pain, just makes you not care about it. I've been using it to recover from a really gruesome surgery and 6 weeks of radiation and chemotherapy. It's useless for kidney stones. Demerol used to work for stones, but nobody gives you that anymore.