Sunday, March 2, 2014

Game Show

Skip Winkledale:  Alright, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for Jim and Becky to go for the ten thousand-dollar jackpot, in the final round.  Today, we're looking for a phrase.  Jim will be giving the clues.  Becky will try to guess the phrase.  Jim - you know the rules.  You cannot use any part of the phrase in your clues, and Becky must say the correct phrase in its entirety, before the buzzer sounds.  Are you ready?

Jim and Becky:  Ready, Skip!

Skip:  Sixty seconds on the clock, please.  And... go!

Jim:  Oh boy.  Okay, um... You can say this to get out of a traffic ticket.

Becky:  Diplomatic immunity?  I'm a celebrity?  I'm a Senator!

Jim:  It's your excuse for being a royal pain.

Becky:  I'm tired.  I'm hungry?  I'm a celebrity?  I'm rich?

Jim:  People bow to you...

Becky:  People totally should bow to me.  Don't they know who I am?

Jim:  No, Becks.  Listen to the clue.  Finish this sentence.  People bow to me because...

Becky:  I AM listening to the clue.  People bow to me because I am awesome.  I am the Queen of Everything.  I rule.  I am a princess?  I am royalty?  Pass!

Jim:  There is no "pass."  This is the only one we get...

Skip:  Thirty seconds...

Jim:  Ack!  Okay... It's the reason you can't marry a commoner.

Becky:  Oh!  Because I'm a princess!  

Jim:  Yes...

Becky:  Because I have royal blood?  Because I'm a prince?

Jim:  We got this, Becks.  Okay, this is something Prince William and Prince Harry will someday say.

Becky:  Our dad is dead?  Our dad has big ears.  Now that dad's, gone, we'd just like to say we never liked Camilla!

Jim:  A lion cub would say this.

Becky:  Meow?  Rawr?  OH!  I'm king of the jungle!

Jim:  No - the cub says it.

Becky:  My dad is king of the jungle?

Jim:  So close.  Lisa Marie Presley can say this.

Becky:  My dad was ELVIS!  I married Nicolas Cage, once!  I was supposedly married to Michael Jackson for about five minutes!  I'm dark and brooding!  Look how dark and brooding I am!

Jim:  Well, speaking of Michael Jackson - this is something one of his supposed children can say, too.

Becky:  Our dad was weird?  Our dad was misunderstood?  Our dad invented the moonwalk!

Jim:  He didn't invent moonwalking, Becks.

Becky:  He didn't?

Jim:  No.  It's been around since at least the 1930s.  He probably picked it up from one of those old movies he supposedly liked so much.  Either that, or he saw kids doing it as part of their breakdancing routines in the early 80s. 

Becky:  I'll bet one of the dancers in his videos showed it to him.  I heard he picked up a lot of his moves from them.

Jim:  'Cause he was a DANCER.  Dancers are always stealing moves from each other.

Becky:  Comedians do that, too.  Remember that show "Last Comic Standing?"  In the initial auditions, one of the judges accused a contestant of lifting a bit from some established comic...

Jim:  I remember that!  He got all pissy about it, too.  And the contestant looked genuinely flummoxed, like he had no idea who or what the judge was talking about.

Becky:  Flummoxed?  What kind of a word is flummoxed?  Who talks like that?

Jim:  I say flummoxed all the time.  It's an awesome word.  That's what kind of word it is.  I thought you married me for my wonderful vocabulary, and my interesting turns of phrase.

Becky:  "Turns of phrase?"

Jim:  No?

Becky:  I married you 'cause you were a good kisser, and because you tolerate my bizarre and violent mood swings.

Jim:  Okay, now.  You absolutely stole that last part from a movie.

Becky:  I did, but only you and maybe the writers of that movie would know that.  And that's the other reason I married you.

Jim:  That's sweet.  You're nice  I like you.

Becky:  I like you, too.

Skip:  Ten seconds...

Jim:  Is it just me, or did time slow way down, over the last 20 seconds or so?

Becky:  Well, we do talk awfully fast.

Jim:  Huh.  Anyway, where were we?  Oh yeah.  Why didn't I think of this before?  This is something that Kyle Petty probably says all the time...

Becky:  Oh, well, why didn't you say so?  The phrase is "My father is the king."

Jim:  Ding, ding, ding, ding!!

Skip:  Congratulations - you did it!!

Really?  THAT'S the clue that did it?

Yet another prompted bit of mostly harmless drivel.  This time, the prompt, as you might have guessed, was MY FATHER IS THE KING.  It comes from the serialized science fiction of fellow Studio 30+ blogger SAM, from her post The Elven Games 22.  She's got skills - check her out at From My Write Side.


  1. What does it say about me that I am watching a NASCAR race while reading this, and I named my only son "Kyle?"

    1. Hmm... It says... You're a big fan of South Park? No, wait. Something about the KING! I like it. Who won? We've been losing touch with NASCAR - basically since the Jimmie (JimmIE??) Johnson era began.

  2. I am out of breath I read this so fast! Well played Joe. Well played...

    1. Thanks, Marie! I thought about putting even more into the time warp that was the final 30 seconds, but I was trying to write as quickly as they were talking, and I ran out of steam.