1983

The favorite year.  Most people have one.  It usually occurs in one's late teens or early twenties, and involves some sort of coming-of-age event, like a first job, first love, first sexual encounter, first drug experimentation, first out-of-body experience, first murder, first space flight, first arrest and so on.  For some, it comes later, and centers around becoming a parent.  For a few, the favorite year comes late in life - retirement, grandchildren, enlightenment, transcendence.

I have a lot of favorite years, and I'd love to bore you with tales of 1978, 1988, 1996, and 2000 - but I won't.  Tonight, let's take a quick peek at 1983, because really, it was all downhill from there, in so many ways.

I was fifteen when the year began, and younger than my years, so my world was an amalgam of music, movies, video games, and a few TV shows... Oh, and my first job.

First, there was snow.  We don't get a lot of snow, in the DC area, but in February of '83, we got this:

Thirty Inches of White Sky-excrement

I know that by now, if you've read what I have to say about winter, you know that I am not a fan.  I hate snow - because I'm an adult, now.  In 1983, however, it was pure white fluffy frozen MAGIC.  Anyway...

Television.  I had outgrown "Little House On The Prairie," and "Automan" proved to be a giant lie - with trailers that deliberately made it look like "TRON," but a show that was beyond terrible.  I was too young to care about "Dynasty," and even at fifteen-going-on sixteen, I could not wait for "M*A*S*H" to just end, already.  Also, I really thought "Just Our Luck" and "Mr. Smith" had a chance, but they were dead on arrival.  But there were bright spots.  "Taxi" showed promise, "Cheers" was good, and "V" did not disappoint, but in early '83, we obtained our first VCR, and suddenly it was MOVIES that we wanted on our TV screen.

"Cujo" was, as almost all big-screen adaptations of Stephen King stories are, a gigantic disappointment, but "War Games," "Risky Business," "Flashdance," "Monty Python's The Meaning of Life," "The Outsiders," "Return of The Jedi," "Vacation," "Scarface," and -helLO- "A Christmas Story?"  It was not a bad year.  Not enough?  How about "Eddie and The Cruisers," "The House On Sorority Row," and "Krull?"  Yeah - top that, 1984.

Of course, at 15-16 years old, I couldn't help but be ruled by music.  Whether it was on the turntable of our first real component stereo system, on my first boom-box, or in the too-powerful headphones of my first-generation FM Walkman, it was one of the driving forces behind my adolescent psyche.

There's entirely too much music to even begin to attempt to think about doing justice to, here.  Rest assured, if Bowie said "Let's Dance," we danced.  If the Plimsouls were "A Million Miles Away," so were we.  When the Stray Cats were "Sexy and 17," and demanded that we "Rock This Town," we did.  Thomas Dolby couldn't find "One of Our Submarines," Kajagoogoo was "Too Shy," Peter Schilling hijacked "Major Tom," and Men At Work said it was all "Overkill," and we were all like, "I'll Tumble For Ya," it's just "The Politics of Dancing -" no, "Don't Change" "My Ever-changing Moods -" "Goodbye to You."

I'll be brief on the video games, too.  I mean, it's not like anyone remembers Congo Bongo, Tapper, Blaster, Mappy, or Gyruss, right?  Everyone's all about Pac Man, Ms. Pac Man, and Q*Bert, blah blah blah.  But does anyone want to join me in a rousing adventure in Mr. Do's Castle, or a round of Crossbow, or the Journey (as in, the band) video game travesty, disaster, and money-grab?  No.  You're all off playing Missile Command, or Centipede.  Harrumph.

Now, about that first job.  In the late summer of 1983, I graduated from delivering newspapers to making bad pizza, cleaning up after bad pizza-eaters, and entertaining bad pizza-eating children - at Chuck E. Cheese's Pizza Time Theatre, in Rockville, Maryland.  Yes, they actually spelled "theatre" that way.  Anyway - click on that link, read that story, and you'll get a feel for why 1983 was special.

That's about it, really - although I would appreciate a little credit from you sports-haters, for not mentioning the Redskins' Superbowl victory or the Orioles' World Series victory.  You're welcome.

Anyway.  This post-a-day thing is already dragging a bit, but bear with me.  There's much for which we will be THANKFUL, as well as the highly-anticipated by no one TWO-HUNDREDTH POST!  I know!  The all-caps should arouse some excitement.  No?  That's okay.  Just don't leave me.  Yet.  

Please?

An Evening With A Schizophrenic iPod

With my luck, it'll play a 26-minute Tangerine Dream track, 13 minutes' worth of Meatloaf and Yes' album-side-filling opus "Gates of Delirium," but come what may, we're doing this.  I have nearly 10,000 tracks on my old-timey iPod, and I'm listening to it - on shuffle, of course - for an evening and sharing the playlist with you.  You might be surprised at what comes up.  It surprises me all the time, and it's my iPod.

1. Aerosmith - "Sweet Emotion."  People who know me are already scratching their heads at the appearance of this crusty old thing in my collection.  I like the old stuff.  This song was already a classic before I learned to like it.  I always liked it, but it took a 1990s arcade game called "Revolution X" to get me to love it.
2. Ladysmith Black Mambazo - "Baba Wethu Singenile."  Yes, these are the guys who backed Paul Simon on his "Graceland" album.  They're neat and can work a harmony like nobody else - plus they're named for an AXE, more or less - so I like them.
3. Ziggy Marley & The Melody Makers - "One Bright Day."  Oh, Ziggy.  You'll never be your father, will you?  That's okay, you seem like a nice guy.
4. Andrew Gold - "Lonely Boy."  What?  Sounds like something that would have come out of my little panda-shaped AM radio in the 70s - and it probably did.  I think [Maris] gets credit for this one.
5. David Bowie - "Slip Away."  Of all the Bowie songs in my library (which is almost all of them), it picks this one?  Oh well.  2000's Bowie is still Bowie, right.  Bowie.
6. Vince Guaraldi Trio - "Greensleeves."  It's a Charlie Brown Christmas!
7. Simple Minds - "Kaleidoscope."  Eleventy-gazillion Simple Minds songs in my collection, and this one comes up now.  *sigh*  Long before their big year on U.S. radio, this band was weird and experimental - sometimes to the point of aural discomfort - and that's where this piece comes from.
8. Dropkick Murphys - "This is Your Life."  [jumps around instead of writing]
9. Rush - "Turn The Page." I remember seeing Rush in 1987 at the Cap Centre, and feeling the bass in my ribcage, but now... *skip*
10. Blind Guadian - "Otherland."  We discovered these guys when we looked up some other band we saw on the MTV Europe awards show, and iTunes suggested B.G.  Queen meets Renaissance Faire Metal.  I don't know.  Guitars!
11. Zydeco Boneshakers* - "Put It Under The Tree."  Zydeco music and Christmas!  Boom.  That just happened.
12. John Waite - "Missing You."  I love the 80s, but *skip*
13. Massive Attack - "Karmacoma."  Do you have to be high or having tantric sex in order to enjoy Massive Attack?  Probably.  *skip*
14. N-Trance - "Set You Free."  Ooh - melodramatic techno!  It's 1996, all over again.  Okay, the vocal on this song makes me all goose-bumply.
15. Gary Numan - "M.E."  "He's a pop star, AND he's got his pilot's license.  Can you imagine that?"  (thanks, Mighty Boosh) Yes.  Yes, we can.  He had no idea how influential he was going to be, when he turned his back on punk and fell in love with a synthesizer.
16. Talking Heads - "City of Dreams."  *skip* - because [Maris] likes to deliberately mistake them for Simple Minds.  Or was that Tears For Fears.  Either way - she's mean.
17. Kathleen Madigan - "Religion."  Finally, some comedy.  Kathleen is funny, and we like her.
18. Van Halen - "Little Guitars."  I wanna be Eddie Van Halen.  From the mid-70's until about 1984.
19. Paula Poundstone - "Pokin' at Ya, Pokin' at Ya."  Another funny lady, doing what she does best.  She once autographed our ticket stub and let me finish the joke she couldn't remember, after the set.
20. Elvis Costello - "Oliver's Army."  Thanks to my good friend Godfrey Ozzenbarq III (not his real name), I can't see or hear the name Oliver without mentally adding "clothes off."
21. Sleeze Beez* - "Stranger Than Paradise."  WHAT???
22. KISS* - "Shout It Out Loud."  iPod, you're not representing yourself very well, tonight.  Nothing against KISS, but we have so much more to offer.  This clip is from the Capital Centre, though!
23. Brian Regan* - "Chess."  Funniest.  Comedian.  Working.  Today.  
24. Stan Ridgway* - "Can't Stop The Show."  His one hit, three decades ago, wo, was "Mexican Radio."  He's evolved SO much since those days, although this particular song is about strippers.
25. Burning Spear* - "Jah Say."  Nice reggae tune, but really I'm just looking for a stopping point. *skip*
26. AC/DC - "Shot Down In Flames."  Ooh - metal!  Okay, one more...
27. Tom Jones - "Delilah."  Holy shit it's Tom Jones!
28. Vangelis - "Spiral."  I knew if I listened long enough, it would play something that I discovered, albeit indirectly, through Carl Sagan's "Cosmos."
29. OMD - "Crush."  If your only exposure to OMD is that movie song ("If You Leave") or their classic "Enola Gay," then this track will make you go "wha?"
30. Bruce Springsteen* - "Glory Days."  That should do it.  

Harrumph.  The only thing weird about my iPod's mood tonight was how weird it wasn't.  I should have cheated.  Maybe next time it will pull out something truly bizarre.  I know Barnes & Barnes' "Fish Heads" is on there, somewhere...

*Note:  These links, which work beautifully in my draft, refuse to work (or even show up as links) for anyone else.  Google these artists/songs.  You might not be sorry.,