I Used To Take Pictures

Pelicans! 

I used to take pictures. Well, to be fair and a bit more accurate, I used to take more pictures. I stuck a whole bunch of them RIGHT HERE, although I must disclose that many of those images were uploaded by scanning prints, before I got around to procuring a scanner that could handle negatives. So, yeah. some of them are pretty okay, I think. Here is a nearly-random sampling, spanning several decades. Some were shot on film(!), some on a digital SLR, and a few on iPhones. Enjoy!

New Orleans, LA 2011

Lancaster, VA 2013

Rockville, MD 1986

San Francisco, CA 1987

Rehoboth Beach, DE 2001

Berwick, LA 2011

Rockville, MD 1988

Duck, NC 2023

Key West, FL 2001

Manning, SC 2017

Washington, DC 2013

That's all for now. Join us tomorrow, when I'm less lazy and tired. Maybe I'll even write something...

Thankfulnessapalooza 2023 - Part One (of Three)

Is it really that time again? It seems like we just did this. Probably only because we *DID* just do this. There are THREE posts separating last year's That Thankfulness Thing (click on that for links to all the other years' posts!) from tonight's post. Shame on me. The 80,434-word (and counting) work in progress from this summer can excuse some of that lack of bloginess, but clearly not all of it. 

It started in 2012, in the Great Before. There was a social media thing where people were posting something for which they were thankful - every damn day throughout November - and I was like NOPE, let's do it all at once. I've since learned that breaking it up into three posts is more humane to all 4 (5?) of you readers, and I'm nothing if not humane, so let's do this. In the interest of full disclosure, I must admit that parts two and three of this year's gratitude fest may read rather like a greatest hits anthology of previous years. But who are we kidding? You didn't just click on my lovingly crafted links above, and you certainly can't be blamed for not remembering previous years' lists of mostly harmless things I like. So it'll all seem brand-new to you, so never mind. Let's proceed.

This year, I am especially thankful for, in no particular order...

1. That Thankfulness Thing. There. Another link to last year's post, which has links to all the previous ones. You're welcome. Anyway, I'm all about lists, so I actually do enjoy this goofy little exercise, once a year. That's gratitude for you!

That's right - After decades of fighting (against it), I now have "accountant" in my title. (gag)

2. My "promotion." Better late than never, as they say. I don't like losing the word "senior" and adding "accountant" to my title, mostly because I am NOT an accountant, but what can you do? Now, to update that résumé...

3. My siblings' retina woes. Not happy that they have experienced retina woes, mind you, BUT - had they not already been through some pretty icky and scary retina woes (I'm starting to think The Retina Woes would be a killer name for a band - or maybe an Ophthalmology practice), and had they not shared with me the signs and symptoms and whatnot, I might have just blown it off when said signs and symptoms and especially whatnot appeared in my very own eyeball. So, thanks sibs - you may have spared me a MUCH nastier bunch of medical tribulations. At least for now... Younger bro - you are SO on the clock, right now...

"We were supposed to be synchronized!" Photo by Joe

4. Pelicans. They'll outlive us all, and deservedly so. 

5. I'm actually quite thankful to have grown up in the time before the internet and social media - and mostly before even cell phones. Now, I know that every generation grows up with whatever it grows up with; none of us get to choose the age in which we're raised (I'm working on it, though - perhaps in a future novel) - and each generation has its blessings and challenges. With the benefit of a bit of hindsight, I'm just glad I didn't have all that connectivity, back when I was young. I wasn't exactly a wild kid, or even a cool kid, but I guarantee you, I would have found myriad ways to screw up, had a smart phone been in my pocket during my adolescence. Millennials, and Gen Z, my hat is off to you for getting through that noise.

6. Riddance. I've used this one before, referring somewhat prematurely to the departure of our so-called ex-"president" (I only say "so-called" because he received millions fewer votes in both elections), but this time I'm thankful for a little sports riddance. I won't waste a lot of words on this. dan snyder, good riddance. 

7. Glue. Specifically, whatever glue [Maris]'s brother in law used to re-affix this guy's severed head. Where there was trauma... 

I'm (we're) not QUITE dead...

...now there is whimsical Halloween healing...

I'm (we're) getting better...

8. Brian Regan. Comedian and nice guy (I assume. Seems nice, anyway. Mormon, I think.) Google him or find him on your favorite streaming platform. He is seriously funny. His material has taken root in [M]'s and my daily vernacular. And his material is clean and non-sexist and weird and fun and just do yourself a favor and check him out. You'll be thankful that you did.

"Long about noon, when your appetite's... pokin' at ya, pokin' at ya."

9. Bite-size Snickers. This one's for [Maris], but yeah - they're pretty close to perfect. Unless you don't like them. Then never mind.

10. The Last Spider. One of our Halloween (over)decorating traditions is that I scatter a bunch of these little fuzzy googly-eyed spiders throughout the house. I do this after [Maris] has gone to sleep. Most of them are in plain sight...

Hey.

Duuuuuude, I am SO high, right now...

But some are placed such that they're technically not hidden, but are still trying very hard not to be seen. Every year, sometimes weeks or months after we've taken down the Halloween stuff, we find The Last Spider. The Last Spider is congratulated heartily by all the other spiders, from inside their box, and there is much chortling. 

All hail The Last-- Hey! Get that camera out of here!

There. You made it through the first ten thanky things for 2023, and for that, I salute and thank you. See you tomorrow for some more Mostly Harmless Drivel. Please come see us again...

13 Sure-fire Bad Luck Generators

Don't look at your bride before the wedding; it's bad luck.  This, we know, is a silly rule.  Why?  Is it because there's no such thing as bad luck?  Maybe, but I'm not here to debate the existence or non-existence of luck.  I'm just saying - how will you recognize your bride when you see her, if you've not seen her before the wedding?  When else would you have seen her?  See?  Not such a very practical rule, is it?

Bored yet?  Me, too!  Here are thirteen more ways to invite bad luck into your life, some of which you may not have heard before:

1.  Saying "good luck" to a performer who is about to go onstage is bad luck.  Apparently, if you really care about him, and honestly wish him good luck, you are supposed to recommend that he fracture at least one bone in his leg.  This is because there is nothing that can be performed on a stage that can't be improved with crutches.

2.  The 13th floor of a building, especially a hotel, is unlucky.  This is believed widely enough that many buildings simply do not have a floor numbered 13.  Well, as the late, great Mitch Hedberg said, "You people on the 14th floor know what floor you're really on!"

3.  The old black cat crossing your path myth.  Yeah, I grew up with a certifiably insane black cat constantly crossing my path, and I haven't had any bad... heyyyyy... wait a minute... Dammit, Daiquiri!!  (The cat's name was Daiquiri, for some reason)

4.  Using CGI to recreate a character who was originally - and magically - brought to life as a real, live Muppet is just begging for bad luck.  Those who do this will find their dreams in this life and the next (if there was one - there isn't, though) positively infested with something called "Jar-Jar Binks."  So just don't, okay?

5.  Never, ever, cross the streams.  It's not just bad luck, it's probably copyrighted, and you might get sued.

6.  Buying a car on a Thursday has long been considered a certain path to a bad ownership experience.  There's actually a perfectly logical explanation for this one, which is that car salesmen have long believed that it is bad luck to sell a car on a Thursday.

7.  For soldiers around the world, lighting three (or, presumably, more) cigarettes with one match is supposed to be bad luck, on account of the cumulative time it takes to do so - time enough for a sniper to draw a bead on you.  This one's probably moot, now, thanks to cigarette lighters and the modern, smoke-free battlefield.

8.  It's bad luck to put a hat on a bed.  There are two orange floppy hats at home who will wholeheartedly attest to this.  And don't even get me started on the red hats with the curly W.  --sigh--  Yes, it's a baseball thing.  Just go to the next one.

9.  Leaving a house through a door other than the one through which you entered is considered bad luck.  Anyone who was born by C-Section care to corroborate?  What kind of luck have you had?  Bad, I bet.

10.  It's very bad luck to say the word "pig" when fishing at sea.  It's not so helpful when you're fishing for compliments, either.

11.  It's bad luck to let milk boil over.  Not really, but it's messy, and it stinks, so, yeah.  Bad luck.  Don't do it.

12.  Want a lifetime of misfortune?  No?  Then whatever you do, don't try to race a pair of pelicans down Route A1A on your bicycle in Juno Beach, Florida.  The pelicans will always win, and there's an excellent chance that you will be hit by a car.

13.  It is a well-known fact that googling things that are supposed to be bad luck in order to find out whether they're really bad luck... is bad luck.  Please, don't be a hero.  It's just not worth it.
 

You're gonna lose...

This too was prompted by my friends at STUDIO 30-PLUS, only this time it was my own post (the next one on this very blog, if you keep scrolling and/or clicking) that provided the phrase, "Supposed to be bad luck."  So, yeah.  Yay, me!