Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Session Number 199 - What About Hyperion?

While we're on the subject of therapists - which, technically, we are not, but which, 24 hours ago, we briefly were...

Doc:  You're late, again.  I have an appointment immediately after yours, so we can't run long.  I'm sorry.

Joe:  (standing)  Well, I'm off to serenade a parking meter...

Doc:  Seriously?

Joe:  (sits down)  No.  Serenade wouldn't really make sense, anyway.

Doc:  (writes on note pad)  Okay.  So.  Last week, we left off with you feeling confident about...

Joe:  About my job interview - yes.

Doc:  So, how did it go?

Joe:  (thought bubble: SO not hired)  Not bad, actually.

Doc:  Excellent.  I'm encouraged.  So, no trouble with the coprolalia, this time?

Joe:  Well, I didn't say that, but it wasn't bad.  I didn't get kicked out, and there were no cops.

Doc:  So, you made it through an interview.  There was never a doubt in my mind.  Mazal-tov.  

Joe:  Um.  Thanks.  I didn't have half of the experience they wanted, though.  

Doc:  How does this whole encounter with potential authority figures leave you feeling?

Joe:  This, again?  'And how do you feel about that?'  Really?  How do you think I feel about it?  It was an interview, doc.  I did better than usual, but they gave me no reason to get my hopes up, blah blah blah...  Can I ask you a question, though?

Doc:  And how did things go with that other issue we discussed?  The guns?

Joe:  (avoiding eye contact)  Yeah.  That.  I kinda bought three more guns - two fully-automatic, and one old .38.

Doc:  And?

Joe:  (sighs)  And nothing on me has gotten any bigger than it was before.

Doc:  And how does that--

Joe:  But I haven't been to the range, yet!

Doc:  (writing on note pad)  I see...

Joe:  Listen, doc - I've been meaning to ask, and don't take this the wrong way, but...

Doc:  Yes?

Joe:  Well, with you over there, and me over here on this clichéed couch, we can't even see each other.  We might as well do this over the phone.

Doc:  No.  I don't want you multitasking your way through these sessions any more than you would want me to to sit here reading, while you talk...

Joe:  Wait.  You're not reading, over there?

Doc:  No!  I'm listening, and taking notes.

Joe:  Oops.  Well, I'm working on my novel, on my iPad.

Doc:  (turning to look)  You are not!

Joe:  Well, not right now, but last week, I completely rewrote chapter sixteen, about Edward meeting Callista's family at Thanksgiving...

Doc:  Mr. Scott!

Joe:  What?  I was fully-engaged.  I'm an excellent multitasker...

Doc:  Understood.  Okay, let's get back to an issue you brought up during our first session...

Joe:  Ugh...

Doc:  Tell me about Hyperion...

Joe:  You mean the Dan Simmons novel?

Doc:  Great book - but, no.  

Joe:  (repositions self several times, looks at clock)  What?

Doc:  Can you tell me about Hyperion?


Doc:  Are you ready to talk about Hyperion?  About what happened, there?


Doc:  It's okay to say no.

Joe:  No.  Not yet.

Doc:  That's okay.  

Joe:  Thank you.

Doc:  Change of subject.  How about the 'roid rage?  How has that been, lately?  You're stepping down off the prednisone, as I recall...

Hyperion, summer.

Stay tuned, kiddies.  Assuming that my math is correct (a generous assumption, to be sure), the next post is NUMBER TWO HUNDRED!!  What can up with I come, to the occasion mark?  Join me.  Joinnnnnnn meeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

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