Black-Footed Ferrets: It's Their World; We're Just Living In It

 

"We're not *quite* extinct. In fact, we're *quite* not extinct."

In 2013, I wrote a little novel about a young-- sorry, a *new* couple who befriend a 100-year old hobo. For reasons I can no longer remember, the hobo kept an unexplained endangered black-footed ferret named Bingo as a pet. Bingo steals several scenes in that story, and yes that's the one I should be working on publishing right now, instead of trying to do a blog post every night for a month. 

A couple of years later, I succumbed to the relentless direct mail fundraising campaign of the World Wildlife Fund when I saw black-footed ferrets in their catalog of "adoptable" critters. I threw money at the WWF, and a few weeks later I was the proud adoptive dad to my very own Bingo, and her brother Yahtzee. When they found out that I work for the Humane Society of the United States, and that we have a program focused on saving prairie dogs (their primary food source in the wild), they insisted on accompanying me to work. There, they...

...mooned everyone...

...ate all the candy...

...calculated things...

...listened to old-timey iPods...

...hogged the fan...

...demonstrated a bad attitude...

...engaged in shenanigans...

...and more shenanigans...

...got into the Christmas spirit...

...kept watch...

...embraced our brand...

...waited for Santa...

...inspected the new drop safe...

...and helped process donations.

 They also enjoy a bit of drink (or pretend drink)...

"This is a tin mug of lies!"

"Bombay Sapphire, straight-up, twist, very cold for Opening Day."

"Who says martinis can't have paper umbrellas?"

"What?"

They also like sports...

In 2019, they predicted we'd need a bigger schedule, and they were right.

2020 - "You call that a schedule? Why bother playing at all?"

Now, they are endangered black-footed cityferrets. They relocated from our unfashionable suburb to the moderately-fashionable "West End," in DC, where they are plotting to become the life of the office. They also keep me off the ledge, with their relentless and optimistic encouragement and support. It's mostly non-verbal.

"Is that the White House?"